Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Make out percentage goes up!

(2-4-09) - You may not know the exploits of Don Juan, but during this next week Colin Bennett, local student, has set out to maximize his use of Love Week 2009. “Seven lucky girls, seven lucky nights. Almost like Hanukah.” Bennett said while talking about his goal of going on seven dates, one each night starting February 7 and rolling through the 14
th, Valentine’s Day. He is confident in his attempt to pull off such a feat that socially weaker men dare not draw near. When asked about how he felt about the dating challenge he firmly asserted, “I can do this, because I am the man.”

Love Week has many different forms of celebration ranging from spending time with that special someone to working it with seven less special someones. With the aid of red roses and a heart-shaped box of assorted chocolates many strive to produce feelings of love or at least gratitude that will be reciprocated by specific public and private displays of physical affection. Despite the similarities of Love Week and your normal home-grown prostitution, many have accepted this Hallmark made tradition and make their own Love Week CD mixes to get in the mood.

Though many strike out in this hunt for solicited affection, the economy will benefit greatly from the increased consumption of chocolates, floral arrangements, and jewelry. Colin Bennett has found his own way of celebrating the promiscuous holiday and has even updated his Facebook status to say “Colin Bennett is ready for Loveweek! (5 Days) - Three date slots open.” Nothing says I love you like a desperate Facebook status.


  1. HAHAHAH i'm loving this. keep up the good work.

  2. You guys are too much. But I love it (love week pun intended).