Thursday, February 12, 2009

BBQ for the Cure, After Dire Diagnosis.

Provo, UT – Fire up the coals and propane burners for the First Annual BBQ for Scurvy Awareness to be held February 21 at King Henry Apartments. Without proper nourishment the dangerous pirate disease strike fear into the hearts of college students and locals alike.

After the diagnosis of a dear friend, Kyle Zufelt decided to take a stand against the deadly vitamin C deficiency disease. “Obviously Jason should have known that a strict diet of bacon and chili cheese Fritos would lead to poor health…but scurvy? No one ever saw it coming.” Kyle is determined to warn others of the medical condition that is known for scourging pirates and mal-nourished infants in third world countries.

It has always been a concern among parents and university administrators that students are not receiving the necessary nutrients for a healthy lifestyle. Nutrition professor Cindy Manns upon hearing of this incident said, “I am not surprised. I am always telling the girls in my classes that we must maintain a well-balanced diet that incorporates more than just top ramen and cheerios.” Scurvy, known medically as Barlow’s Disease, causes paleness, purple spots on the skin, spongy gums, and bleeding of the membranes. It can easily be treated with the consumption of vitamin C and rarely leads to death among modern societies.

Although Jason Burns avoided the eventual falling out of teeth and imminent death caused by advanced stages of the disease, there may be many out there that do not know of the dangers of malnutrition. The First Annual BBQ for Scurvy Awareness will hopefully inspire students and others ignorant of proper nutrition to balance their diets and avoid unsightly gums. This brings into question the fascination young females have had with pirates who are the poster children for this deteriorating disease.


  1. Is this like "Michael Scott's Dunder-Mifflin Scranton Meredith Palmer Memorial Celebrity Rabies Awareness Pro-Am Fun Run Race For The Cure"?

  2. Yeah... but it's real. We are really having the BBQ this next Saturday.